She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
