That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
