At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
