is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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