Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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