she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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