thus making me awesome and them whores
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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