I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
