A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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