Already got asked if we're dating
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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