you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
