omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
