I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
