So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
