She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
