well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
