I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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