It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
