you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
