I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
