How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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