In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
