Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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