i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
