I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
