Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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