they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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