One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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