you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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