Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
