Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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