Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
