Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
