I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
