I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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