Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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