So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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