your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
