i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
