wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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