There was a lot of him and a little penis
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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