All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
