I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
