So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
