I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i think my cat just said my name.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
