we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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