what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize