all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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