whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
