the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
