Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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