I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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