Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
worst night to have a conscience
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
