i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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