we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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