im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
