ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
