One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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