Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
