Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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